Do you ever find yourself asking God things, but not REALLY expecting Him do it. For example, I've been praying for God to cause His word to come alive in my heart, for the grace to actually live out His word in my life. And then I'm surprised when I find myself in situations where i have a decision to make....choosing God's way, the way of love, or my own, the way of selfishness. You'd think I'd learn that praying really does cause things to happen.
See if you can relate to this....so you're going about your day, then all of a sudden, something happens that triggers some really strong emotions, like anger, jealousy, bitterness, fear, ect - its quite easy to let those emotions take over, or maybe you've learned to dig a hole and hide them. But for those that are seeking God's way of life, we stand at the crossroads of a decision - "part of me feels totally justified in being angry at this person who has wronged me....but i know there is another way. There is the way of mercy, and I know in my head that it triumphs over judgment because the bible says so. But how do i really believe that....so much that it changes my emotions deep inside? I want to REALLY see God's word come alive in my heart.
In this moment, if you just take time to listen, you will hear the voice of our creator speaking quietly in our ear..."My yoke is easy and my burden is light. Come to me and lay down your burdens at my feet. Come take a walk with me."
Satan will do whatever he can to convince us that this is our battle, and we most somehow find the strength to win. There is another way...it looks like opening up our heart to our creator, and allowing HIM to speak to our fears and hurts. When anger, fear, bitterness, ect springs up, God is really good at showing us the root cause of these emotions. Allow Him to take you by the hand, and He will speak truth into the lies, acceptance into the rejection, love into places of abandonment. Let God's love take its course...don't try to come up with someway you can deserve it. We don't. But the lover of our souls says we're worth pursuing despite our sin and brokenness.
You want to see God's Kingdom come in your life?
I think a simple way to see this is to pay attention to your emotions, and anything that is contrary to God's Kingdom, ask God why this is happening, what's the root, and ask Him to change your heart in line with His.